You’ve recently met this girl who makes your heart beat crazy.
The butterflies in your stomach are gracefully dancing to romantic tunes while your brain is turning into mush. Could this be love? — You think to yourself.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if you “love” someone or you’re “in love.” The lines between the two can be quite baffling. Even if someone pulls up a dictionary and makes you read the very definition of love, you still wouldn’t get it.
Here’s the thing: being “in love” is not synonymous with loving someone. It’s mere infatuation, and sometimes it’s short-lived.
So how do you know if it’s love or not?
What Is Love?
According to Jim Al-Khalili, author of The Physicist: Love is Chemistry, “Love is a permanent neurological condition, similar to thirst or hunger, only long-term and from an evolutionary perspective.”
And, indeed, it is true. The thing is, love cannot be so easily captured in words. It’s felt, not spoken, and can also manifest in different ways.
Nowadays, when we speak of love in general, the first thing that comes to mind is the romantic type of love. There are many types of love in this world. You have the love you have for your family, the love you have for your friends, and even the love you have for yourself.
Love can manifest in many different ways, so it’s easy to confuse one for the other. The love that you hold for a friend may not entirely be platonic, and you might find yourself second-guessing from time to time.
But even if there were thousands of articles on the internet about love, only you would be able to know how you truly feel. Only you would be able to tell the kind of love you hold for the person dearest to you.
It won’t be easy telling infatuation apart from romantic love since infatuation is uncannily similar to romantic love. It makes you feel acknowledged and appreciated. It makes you learn to value life more and keeps you in a good mood.
But that’s where the resemblance stops.
Infatuation only imitates what love makes you feel. It burns bright and goes out just as rapidly. You get consumed by this newfound feeling, but it’ll eventually fade as soon as you get used to it.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being infatuated. But, it may lead you to make poor or hasty decisions which you might find yourself regretting in the future.
It’s inevitable to make mistakes when your relationship is still brand new. But if you are keen on making it work in the long run, then you have to listen to what your brain says, not your heart.
If you feel like your judgment is way too clouded for you to think straight, then we have exactly what you need to refresh your perspective.
Signs That You’re Infatuated
Infatuation may make it appear as if you are in love. Because of the intensity of your emotions, you lose your sense of self and begin to feel lovesick.
But in reality, it’s an act of selfishness rather than genuine concern. You like how the person makes you feel, not the person themselves. In a way, you are using them to gratify yourself.
You have no idea what this person is like just yet. Being in blissful ignorance can skew your perception of this person you claim to love.
Infatuation is but a fleeting moment. One moment you immensely adore this person, the next you feel indifferent towards them. Being in love with someone today isn’t a guarantee that you’ll feel the same way forever.
If ever you:
- have butterflies;
- feel nervous around them;
- overlook their mistakes easily;
- are very quick to please them;
- make sacrifices for them; and
- gloss over their negative traits.
Then that’s not love. That’s infatuation. Love is supposed to make you feel safe, comfortable, and at peace. It’s not instantaneous nor is it overwhelming.
You don’t feel the need to hide away or hold yourself back. You trust your partner enough to accept you for who you are, both good and bad.
You don’t need to fill in the silence to keep each other entertained. You know each other well enough already. Your minds work at the same wavelength, in a way that you can predict the next thing they do.
Not all romantic love works out the same. There are varying chemistry and dynamics. But down to their very core, these kinds of love have their similarities:
They make you feel at home.
Can Infatuation Turn into Love?
Absolutely!
Love has to start somewhere. It won’t immediately manifest itself into existence — it’s near impossible for that to happen. The closest thing you have to instant love is infatuation.
Having a crush, for instance, is a form of infatuation. It’s also one of the common ways a relationship begins. According to psychology expert, Dr. Funke Baffour-Awuah crushes only last for four months. After that? It would either fade away, evolve into obsession, or turn into romantic love.
From there, it’ll be much easier for you to tell if what you feel is love and not infatuation.
Now That You Have Your Answers, It’s Time for You to Act On It
Love comes when you least expect it.
There are some people who wholeheartedly accept it, much like a prodigal son making his way home. They relish this newfound feeling and are curious to see where this will lead them.
There are others, however, who shy away from it. They get overwhelmed with these emotions and try to hide them away from the world. Possibly even locking it in a steel box and sending it to Davy Jones’ locker.
Keeping yourself inside your comfort zone helps keep away the bad influences and negative energy. But it can also keep away your chance at happiness. It’s just as our dear friend Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.
