Imagine this: There’s this wonderful Chinese woman that you’ve been eyeing for a while now.
She’s kind, nurturing, funny — not to mention, she’s gorgeous! Basically the human embodiment of your dream girl.
So, like any sane person on the planet, you gather the courage to approach her and express your interest. And as if the stars aligned, she happens to like you back.
Now, normally you will want to ask her out on a few dates, and get to know her really well before making the relationship official. Besides, you’ve only admired her from afar, and never really got to talk to her closely — who knows, she may have this crazy side you’ve never seen
But here’s the catch: she insists on calling it official already and wants you to meet her parents as soon as possible. None of those first dates — the opportunity to test your compatibility, but an instant, serious relationship. You can always get to know each other later on, is what she says.
Sure, you’re looking for a serious relationship, yourself. However, you believe it’s still too fast of a progress. You’ve only confessed to each other for a day. So, what will you do now?
A : You try getting out of the offer, believing she’s too desperate, it’s suspicious. Or,
B: You turn back time, wishing you knew a bit more about Chinese culture.
But we can’t turn back time, can we? So, before you get into this kind of situation, let’s learn more about the Chinese dating culture and the sweet world of Zhui.
Zhui: Chasing after her
Zhui is the process of winning someone’s heart by a series of actions: gift giving, spending time together, and the like. In literal translation, it means “to chase” after the woman that you like — textbook definition of courtship.
But in the Chinese culture, the difference is in the speed of developing the relationship. Because unlike western culture or maybe even the rest of the world, their culture has a whole different set of priorities laid before them when it comes to courtship.
Which is why, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, Chinese women should be one of your first choices. But going into a serious relationship fast can also have its complications.
Sooner into it, you might discover that you aren’t as compatible as you thought you were. This can lead to a possible break up and thus more time to heal your heart, and less to finding true love.
So, if you’re looking into confessing to that beautiful Chinese woman you’ve been eyeing on, read up first and learn what you should expect if doing so.
China vs The world
Normally, before getting into a serious relationship with someone, people pass through different phases such as the introduction phase and dating phase before calling it exclusive.
That dating part is where you get to know each other before deciding whether you’ll want to commit to something serious.
Chinese people go through pretty much the same thing — save for the absence of this dating phase.
In other countries, you might need to go on a number of dates before you can brag about your woman to your friends. But in Chinese culture, as soon as you express interest and they happen to like you back, you better strap in tight because there’s a high chance that you will immediately board the serious relationship express.
The majority of women pay huge attention to courtship and dating, having marriage as their ultimate goal — there’s no questioning that, but with China’s disparity between genders, having more males than females, Chinese women more so than the others.
Thus, with the whole disparity, and marriage as a priority in mind, they are said to be more “choosy” when it comes to choosing from their suitors. And despite being pressured to wed as soon as possible, they still have the privileges to be picky.
So before we proceed, ask yourself first if you’re ready to make the commitment. If you are, then the next question is: first, what do you need to do in order to charm a Chinese woman?
The How-to’s
Chinese women, as with every other woman, want to be wooed with passion and style.
Being passionate but not desperate, confident but not conceited, funny but still take things seriously; these are undeniably the ABC’s of a perfect charmer.
We could go on and on about how to impress them and honestly, there’s already hundreds of articles telling you how to. But the overarching and the most important advice anyone could give you is to be ready for the commitment.
Commitment here does not only involve not looking at other women. But commitment in the sense that you’re ready to build a family with her, even only early into the relationship.
Remember, a majority of Chinese women date with marriage in their mind. They might not have as much luxury to test the waters compared to other women. If you’re interested in them, you need to be in full throttle, ready to have a family.
So, you need to make sure you are already, really, genuinely, certainly, without a doubt serious before you try and pursue her. Be emotionally, physically, mentally and even financially ready for the relationship.
Oh, and before we forget. When dating Chinese women, you also need to be the perfect man their parents would want you to be.
And that’s by being:
- a gentleman — that’s a given
- being sincere and not only dating her because she’s this exotic Asian
- being financially stable because Chinese are known to be very practical.
Since family plays a good part when it comes to courtship in China, women will not only listen to their heart’s choice but also to their parent’s. Thus, make sure you impress her family members just as much as you try impressing their girl. If the parents by chance won’t approve of you, then it will be better to bid your chances a farewell.
Zhui now
That is how courtship and dating in China traditionally is — fast, with women being pressured to marry fast. And a majority of Chinese are still following this custom while some may already be open to casual dating.
Still, you shouldn’t date just for the sake of trying things out with a Chinese woman. Because at the end of the day, we all want to experience that happy ending and hear the sweet, sweet sound of wedding bells.
So, if you’re interested in that Chinese woman next door, make sure you are more than ready to commit to her before knocking on her door and introducing yourself.
